The burdened child

In an ideal world, every child would grow up in a loving home, with parents who are just as engaged to give the child a sense of security and just as capable of stepping away to give him enough space to develop into an independent person. ⁣

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Life, on the other hand, rarely provides ideal conditions, so children sometimes take on a role that is not in line with their age and capacities. They can be encouraged to do so by various circumstances - a poor financial situation in the family, where the child worries together with the parents; illness of a family member, where the child has to take on certain "adult" responsibilities too early; parents’ emotional immaturity and their reliance on the child to meet their emotional needs, etc.⁣

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Whatever the scenario, the child who takes on the burden of adults that are not suitable for his age, repeatedly faces the "failure" of solving these adult problems, and he perceives this as his own shortcomings. As the child is very dedicated to this task, he does not experience that there is space for his needs, and sometimes that space really does not exist. The child then tries to push into the basement of his psyche all the fear, anger and dissatisfaction that inevitably arise, and sometimes food is the only available resource that will, at least temporarily, keep the basement door closed and provide moments of peace and comfort. ⁣

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It is important that we understand, because the path to recovery is significantly easier when we start from a place of interest and compassion.